读后续写搞分策略

距离高考只有十多天了，这里给大家送上两篇文章，主题分别是“高分句型和语法结构”和“运用名人名言的三大法宝”，谈不上雪中送炭，但肯定可以锦上添花，而且与你现在的知识结构没有任何冲突，哪怕在高考前一天读一读，也一定有所收获。

读后续写高分句型和语法结构

请大家先看一个实例：

 

 

这两篇文章在主题的构思和立意方面差不多，书法也没有明显差异，但最后两篇文章的得分相差10分，第一篇12分，第二篇22分，为什么？

读后续写的故事情节发展不复杂，比较显见。差不多的情节，差不多的描写，差不多的书写，怎么判高下？这时，语句就是分数的决定点。同时，阅卷人也最擅长在这里评判高低。

请对比：

After we heard this, Mike and I got up to meet our friend.初中水平的语法。

Upon hearing this, Mike and I sprung to our feet, dashing out to meet our friend。用了介词upon加上动词ing的结构；dashing out to meet our friend是现在分词做状语；sprung to our feet的运用有点夸张，但是避免了got up 这样太无色无味的词语。

But when we got into the room, we were surprised. We saw a stranger in front of us.还是初中水平的语法。

Nevertheless, so stunned were we seeing this Abdel, totally a stranger standing before us, that we were rooted on the floor.用了nevertheless这样的转折词，避免了太多的类同表达，例如however, but,等。so stunned were we seeing this Abdel…that用了倒装句结构，更巧妙的是totally a stranger standing before us, 采用了同位语或者插入语，凸显了作者语言功底的深厚。

He hesitated for a while and shook his hands with us, wearing a smile,“Hi, I’m Abdel”.虽然wearing a smile用了分词短语结构，但是总体还是比较呆板的表达。

Having hesitated for a moment, He reached out his hand, saying with a brilliant smile, “Hi, I’m Abdel” .请仔细看：Having hesitated for a moment就这个表达而言就显示出作者多么深厚的语法底蕴。现在分词的完成体有两种含义，表示动作发生在主句动词之前，或者表示“已经”，与时间段和多少次等连用。不能说hesitating for a moment，更不能说hesitated for a moment。再看saying with a brilliant smile，亮点是brilliant。在名词前能不能用具有修辞作用的形容词，在形容词前能否用漂亮的副词，用一个，还是两个？差异就在这里！

We had to shake hands with him, feeling very embarrassed. We arrived at the wrong place.

Out of courtesy but a bit embarrassed, we shook hands while deep in our mind we did know we found the wrong person.

这里对比一下，差异就很明显了。虽然Out of courtesy but a bit embarrassed在语法上不太协调，最好把but a bit embarrassed去掉。但是，这样的瑕疵并不影响总体的光亮，特别是读到while deep in our mind we did know，哪个阅卷人不拍案叫绝。用while表示“但是”，同时又巧妙用了强调we did know与全文呼应起来，融为一体。此时，阅卷人必定在赞叹：“高手啊！别人家的学生！”

“I’m sorry, but there’s something wrong” I explained. “What do you mean?”he asked. 表达很通畅啊，有问题吗？确实没有什么语言问题，但问题是“这样能得高分吗？”

“I’m awfully sorry, but there must be something wrong”, I tried to explain. “What do you mean?”, he asked in a polite voice. 这样才能得高分啊！

对比一下，就见端倪！

awfully sorry 与sorry 一样吗？there must be something wrong 与there’s something wrong 一样吗？tried to explain与explained一样吗？he asked in a polite voice与 he asked一样吗？

大家会说，“差不多啊”。

我的回答，“这个似乎看不出的差别，却是实打实的阅卷老师将会给出的不一样的分数，差的就是分数啊。”

读后续写150多词，语言表达要精准，故事情节发展要有铺垫，例如he asked in a polite voice与 he asked能一样吗？因为有了in a polite voice，故事情节才能自然发展到“感激、礼貌、乐于助人”的结尾和升华。

高考阅卷就是每时每刻在对比，如果在书写、情节、描写等方面差异不大的情况下，高分的来源就是——语法方式丰富，结构多元，高手风范。

重点：当主题的立意明确了，故事情节也构思好了，在准备写的时候就必须思考：“这句话用什么语法结构，用什么词语？”

试一试：故事情节有这样一段话：

“年轻人听到她的声音就立马站了起来，脸色有点尴尬。女孩看到他的手，吃了一惊。”

。。。思考中。。。

一般水平，平铺直叙，没有亮点，14分左右：

When the young man heard her voice, he stood up at once and felt embarrassed. The girl saw his hands and was surprised.

词组胜于单个词语，用分词短语等高级语法，形容词或名词前有修饰，18分左右：

Hearing her voice, the young man jumped to his feet in no time and was a bit embarrassed. The girl was rather astonished at seeing his hands.

构思有文学色彩，根据情节适当添加铺垫，用插入语和定语从句等高端结构，词语巧妙，20分以上：

The young man roused himself sharply at the sound of her voice, and seemed to struggle with a slight embarrassment which he threw off instantly. The girl‘s eyes, widening a little, rested upon his deformed and scarred hands.

（上面这段不得高分才怪呢，因为是O Henry的原作！选自Heart and Hands）

此时，再想想，余下的故事用什么语法结构和词语？

来，一起走起。

 

（1）      一定加分的二连形和二连副

 

二连形就是连续用两个形容词。二连副就是连续用两个副词。

掌握这个诀窍，已经迈上高分之路！

据说去年八省联考读后续写最高分得主有三个句子用了二连形。Having waited for hours and worked a lot, I had no time for lunch, exhausted and hungry…Sympathetic and touched, I hoped that $20 bill would,more or less, make a difference…I felt quite blessed and grateful, awarm current welling up in my mind.

所以高分！

我这样说，有哗众取宠、言过其实之嫌，但确实是提高你读后续写表达一个特别重要的构思：“多点思维”。平时我们用英语表达的时候，很多时候都是胡同思维，单一的，狭窄的。累就是累，饿就是饿。I was tired. I was hungry. 为什么不可以合并呢。可以Iwas tired and hungry啊. 再看：

Exhausted and starving, he buried himself in a bunch of food, eating like a hungry wolf.

It was resourceful and thoughtful of him to pick up the money from the ground, and then he handed it to the poor old woman.

Realizing the truth, he became embarrassed and guilty, and apologized sincerely to the beggar.

When she spoke her voice, full, sweet, and deliberate, showed that its owner was accustomed to speaking and being heard.

She thought it was classy and effective to make the man wait at the first date, while eventually …

Today is so important, so critical. Today it matters what I say. I can’t mess up. Not when you’ll be there, so serene and lovely.

They were so painful and so confining that all I could think was how am I ever going to travel the world in these things?

再看二连副：

Quietly but rather determinedly she took the leave and went alone.

Your idea sounds all right, both theoretically and practically.

Disappointedly and unwillingly I called for a flood just to replace the barren dirt with lifeless fresh mud.

Looking away out the car window, she began to speak truly and simply

I remember the first day that I met you. I remember the look on your face as you spun out from your dorm and slammed directly into me. You bowled me over, both physically and metaphorically.

 I crawled into bed, and this is what my life was like for the next few months. I was absolutely, physically, andemotionally broken.

要用形容词表示环境或心情，是否可以二连形？

要用副词修饰形容词或动词，是否可以二连副？

加修饰语不是语法技巧，是能力，是思维！每当语句构思的时候，想一想，养成习惯！

 

（2）      最常用的分词短语结构

 

如果用英语表达下面这段话，你想到了什么语法结构？

“走着走着，就散了，回忆也淡了。

看着看着，就累了，星光也暗了。

想着想着，就困了，梦里下雨了。

听着听着，就醒了，开始埋怨了。

回头发现，你不见了，突然我乱了。”

我是这么翻译的：

Walking along, we got separated, memories fading

Looking around, I got tired, stars dimming

My mind wandering, I grew sleepy, rain falling in my dream

Listening up, I got awaken, complaints arising

Looking back, I got you lost, my soul lost

这就是读后续写最常用的语句结构：“分词短语结构”。“分词短语结构”的具体表达方式可以分为：现在分词一般式（表示主动和同时），现在分词完成式（表示已经或先于主动词），过去分词（表示被动，做定语时也可以表示“已经”），独立主格结构（分词的形式主语与主句主语不一致时保留分词形式主语）”

Walking along, Looking around, Listening up, Looking back, 是现在分词短语作状语。

memories fading，stars dimming，My mind wandering, rain falling in my dream，complaints arising，my soul lost是独立主格结构。

语法规则不是这里探讨的主题，这里与大家说说怎么用。

读后续写是故事，有文学性，所以情节中有一些描写，此时，一般用下面两种结构，基本用分词短语为主：

1. 1.      分词 + 主句 + 分词/独立主格

Hearing what Mother said, Helen got rather embarrassed, her face reddening and eyes resting upon the floor.

Witnessing what happened, I got into a fury, my fists clenched tightly and my eyes burning with a fire.

Tired and hungry, he threw himself into the bed, his head buried in the pillow.

Pacing up and down, he seemed to be lost in thoughts, a deep frown emerging on his face and his soul wandering miles away.

Accustomed to losing sleep, I would lie in the quiet night, looking at the ceiling and thinking of your light blue dress

One night, however, feeling cold and lonely, I went downstairs and sat in front of the television pretending to read.

Instead of looking to the future, Joni focused on the present, protecting Steve and his dignity.

 

注意，构思时，句首可以是分词短语，像feeling tired and hungry，也可以是形容词tired and hungry, 也可以加上连词while/althoughfeeling tired and lonely, 或者介词：Instead of looking to the future; rather than disappointed等。独立主格结构一般放在主句后，加强描写。

 

1. 2.      “话语” + 主句 + 分词/独主

这个公式在读后续写中特别常用。

例如：故事有：“别管我”她说+后续动作/伴随动作/心情

于是可以有多种表达：

“Leave me alone” she murmured/whispered

                         she yelled/roared

                         she begged/pleaded

                         she cried/sobbed

+现在分词：dashing out like a startled rabbit

+过去分词：frightened and irritated

+独立主格：

her tears rolling down her cheeks

her eyes shining like a fire

her head held high

her face buried in her hands

her voice trembling

到底用哪种，就看当时是什么情况，哪种心情，而已。

“Leave me alone!” she yelled，her voice trembling and dashing out like a startled rabbit.

“Leave me alone” she murmured, her face buried in her hands.

但是，不管读后续写的主题千变万化，类似的表达肯定用得着。例如：

“Twenty dollars," said Madame, lifting the mass with a practicedhand.

"I love the West," said the girl, her eyes shining softly.

“You needn’t get any more wine,” said Johnsy, keeping her eyes fixed out the window.”

“Jack, let’s just go,” I said, pulling him by the arm.

“Oh man, it talks!” screamed Eddie，pushing Jack’s shoulders hard, which made Jack fall heavily backward.

       “Yo, dudes,” said Jack, throwing his hand high in the air. “That was really cool of you guys to come back for us. Thanks.”

       “No problem,” answered Henry, highfiving Jack.

构思时想一想，说了什么？怎么说的？用什么结构来描绘，为了加分！

“为了加分。”我心里说，内心充满了信心和希望。

“For the sake of more grades” I said to myself, my heart filled with confidence and hope.

 

(3)  用于救急的万能句型

这段是我永不磨灭的记忆：在中美高层对话现场，杨洁篪发言结束之后，想让王毅继续说几句。此时，我方翻译张京说：“我先……先翻译一下。”就是这段 14分钟的交传，我听了多遍，心情无比激动，深深被张京的豪气和深厚的语言功底所折服，在行云流水之间达到信雅达，叹为观止，乃吾辈之楷模。在张京教科书级的翻译中，我发现她特别常用的一个句型，特别适合高中生写作文。

这是可以用于救急的万能句型——it is/was +形容词+for/of someone to do something. 最常见的动词不定式句型，小伙伴们都知道，但却很少用。

因为受汉语的思维习惯，类似“书本知识很有用”，“我们必须每天做体育锻炼”就会非常自然地表达为“Book knowledge is very useful. We must do some sports every day. ”在这样的思维习惯下，汉式英语也到处可见：Going shopping wastes my time. Studying is very busy等。

这时候，就可以考虑用这个句型。虽然不是很高级，但是可以救急，就像first aid kit，而且保证安全。特别是“做什么怎么样”这样的表达，用这个句型感觉特别好。“书本知识很有用”，“我们必须每天做体育锻炼”就可以这样来表达：

 It is particularly essential and practical for us to learn some knowledge from books.

It is undoubtedly important and necessary for us to work out in the gym every day

怎么样？而且很容易加上一些装饰品，美容一下。来个二连形，再加上副词，选择比较好的词语，等等。

这样的例子很多：

It was a wonderful thing for us to see people animated by these ideals, carrying out a bloodless revolution.

It might be a great danger for us alone toundertake such an adventurous journey

I realized how important it was to believe in myself and expect the best no matter what might occur along the way.

 It was basically no good to try for something I knew at the start was wildly out of reach because that only invited the bitterness of failure.

Nonetheless it was rather difficult to stand or walk on the glassy surface and the red dog slipped and I fell twice, hard, once dropping my gun and having it slide away over the ice.

注意Be的变化：

It must be/ it should be/it might be/it seemed to be/it was supposed to be/ itused to be …

形容词可以不止一个

It was fairly challenging and tricky for us to

It will be definitely essential and beneficial for  everybody to

可以用名词

It might be a golden opportunity for us teenagers to

It was supposed to be a pretty hard issue for children to

用of不用for

It was rather offensive and rude of you to…

It seemed to be considerably thoughtful of you…

同时，在掌握这个不定式句型的时候，顺便联想起用it 作为形式主语或形式宾语，也是可以加分的句型：

It dawned on me that life is far from perfect and you can never see the rainbow until you have experienced the storm.

It happened that/ it turned out that/ it was extraordinarily essential that you should…

He has made it crystal clear that he would never allowed us to go beyond the lines

I felt it a duty to forbid school bully from happening again.

把上面这些句子和句型好好读一读，很有用的！

 

(4)  可以加分的倒装

倒装不一定能起到加分的作用，用得不当，反而适得其反。千万千万不要再用only in this way can we live a better life. 或者only by this means can this world become better这样的倒装句了，阅卷人看到会吐的。因为在以前江苏卷中，这样表达作为作文结尾阅卷太烂了。

 哪些倒装可以加分呢？

 去年，我用苏州中学高三的一位同学在成人仪式的一句发言让大家翻译：“白云不向天空承诺去留，却朝夕相伴，星星不向夜幕许诺光明，却努力闪烁！”

汉语好美！学生们的翻译也千姿百态，千奇百怪。但是后来一致认为我的翻译最好。程门立雪，尊师重教！

Never do clouds promise to the sky that they stay or leave while they go with it day and night.

Never do stars promise to the darkness that they give out light while they try hard to shine.

翻译也确实很美！倒装在这里充分显示了应有的气势！这样的倒装肯定加分的。

可以加分的倒装：

1.      否定状语前移的句型

Never ever have I seen such a scary scene.

Never in my wildest dreams had I thought I would see you here

From nowhere did a dog jump out barking at me.

Hardly had I uttered anything when she rushed out and slammed the door before me.

No sooner had she got my text message than she replied, “Sorry, a rain check please”.

Under no circumstance would you yield to school bully

Not until he received her letter did he fully understand the depth of her feelings.

2.      So“如此”的倒装

So terrified was the woman that she couldn’t help letting out a cry.

So disappointing was the lecture that everyone fell into sleep.

So industriously and persistently did he work on his plan that he made it eventually.

3.      虚拟语气的倒装

Should this plan fail, we would at the stake of losing everything.

Were Bob here I am sure he would give us a helping hand.

Were you to forgive her, you could be friends again.

“Had you told me earlier, I would not have made such a stupid mistake” he yelled at me, his voice shaking with anger and eyes staring at me.

如果遇到“从不、一。。，就。。。、如果、那么”等，就应该想一想是否可以用这样的倒装句型。

(5)  语气的强调和强调句型

在对话中，经常要用到一些语气的强调。“你到底是什么意思啊？” “你一定要记住我说的话”等等。这里就应该用强调的方式了。What on earth do you mean? Do remember what I said. Never forget what Isaid。特别提醒，我们这里是在写作文，是文雅之处，不能像很多美剧中那样满口爆粗，别说大家都懂的那个词语，哪怕the hell 也不能用。

1.      语气的强调：

What in the world was he talking about?

What on earth do you want from me?

Who exactly were you having dinner with?

Oh, my! Did you know he is a big liar?

Thank goodness! You got what I meant at last!

Wow,it’s unbelievable! How amazing!

What a big surprise!

Opening the bathroom door, she saw her two-year-old daughter reaching into the toiletbowl and drinking the water. "My goodness!“ she screamed，dashing to take her away.

2.      Do/does/did的强调

He agreed that a train did come into the station at the time onthe paper and that it did stop, but only to take on water, not passengers.

But I do know that it helped us stick together, and one day a letter really did arrive. Johnny was alive on an island in the Pacific.

My father never does eat meat or fish leaving all to us children.

I do hope/wish that we might as well sit down and talk it over

3.      祈使句do和never的强调

Do remember to be there at the appointed time.

Do be cautious when talking to her.

Do blow them away, tiger!

Never try to think about it.

Never ever tell me a lie! Never!

Do chin up and never lose faith in yourself.

4.      强调句型（除动词外）

It was this moment that I asked myself that life-defining question: If my life were a book and I were the author, how would I want the story to go?

It's believing in those dreams and facing our fears head-on that allows us to live our lives beyond our limits.

It was only then that I realized that the flashlight was pointed right at my face,

5.      How I wish 特别常用强调方式

How I wish I were a superhero to save him from the deep water!

How I wish I could be a bird flying freely to wherever I want to go!

How I wish I could be there helping those children from poverty-stricken areas.

How I wish I could disappear and avoid this embarrassment !

How I wish I hadn’t told the truth and then she wouldn’t be in such a desperate mood!

是啊，我多么希望我说的能够给大家带来高分，带来好运！

How I wish what I say could bring you better grades in Gaokao and bring you good luck!

但愿梦想成真！

How I wish your dream could come true!

所以，请大家认真看，认真记，认真用！梦想成真！

 

(6)  尽显高手风范的插入语

插入语就是插入在句中的词语，前后两个逗号。千万不要小看这两个逗号，语言有了节奏，含义有了补充，表达有了灵气，尽显高手风范。但是，如果没有把握，并不建议乱用，怕造成弄巧成拙的嫌疑。请看实例：

The girl‘s eyes, widening a little, rested upon  his deformed and scarred hand.

My hands, trembling with excitement, reached out for the letter.

The location, as the map says, is too far to walk.

We could, more or less, make a difference.

What she said, in some sense, touched my heart.

He stood there dumbfounded, and his feet, as if rooted to the floor,couldn’t move a bit.

She nodded, even if her heart protesting, and went out without a word.

He would, if given more time, make it eventually.

We can, if necessary, call the police for help.

She is not stupid, if anything, she’s more like still water running deep.

小伙伴们一定发现了插入语的一般规律，就是一般紧跟在被修饰词语的后面，可以用作同位语、定语、状语，但用词必须略显高级，作为补充意义，是比较典型的英语思维习惯，后知后觉。而汉语的思维习惯一般都先把状语说在前头，讲究圆滑。例如“等我有空了，如果时间允许，我会来看你的”，先把各种附带讲明了，再奔主题。但是如果翻译成英语的话，最好是这样：I will come to see you if I am free and times permits. 但是，如果用插入语的方式，则表示说话人特别强调了插入语：I will, if time permits, come to see you. 说话人强调了if time permits，多少有一点不真诚。所以用插入语必须谨慎，没有足够的语感，不提倡用！

但是，插入语确实是高端语言表达方式，请大家比较一下：

If given more time, he would make it eventually. 常见的表达，符合汉语思维。

He would make it eventually if he were given more time. 最正规的表达方式。

He would, if given more time, make it eventually.好灵动的说！

就像你的来，

请摘走一片云彩！

带着灵动，

精彩未来。

最后，重复一遍：当主题和立意明确了，故事情节也构思好了，在准备写的时候必须思考：“这句话用什么语法结构，用什么词语？”。全文的语法结构不要太多重复，好好斟酌！

先华丽起来，高考搞个好分数。等高考结束后，再言简意赅返璞归真吧！